We bring you more in our series ‘101 Most Ridiculous IT Service Requests’.

Due to popular demand – sincerest thanks, both of you – LinuxIT, the leading name in Open Source for enterprise, returns with even more ridiculous IT service desk requests.

Further proof, if further proof was needed, that even when technology comes a knocking, for some people the lights may be on, but nobody's home.

 

Even More Ridiculous IT Service Desk Requests

 

22.  User: "My mouse has stopped working."

Helpdesk: "Is it an optical or ball mouse?"

User: "Sorry?"

Helpdesk: "Does it have a ball or light?"

User: "There's a light on top."

Helpdesk: "On top?"

User: "Yes. It was underneath before, but I like it better on top."

Helpdesk: "Right. Could you turn it around so the light's pointing down at the desk?"

User: "Okay... Oh! Great! It works!"

23. User: "I've just had my line enabled for broadband, but there is no difference in it!"

Helpdesk: "Sorry to hear that. What speed are you getting?"

User: "Speed? What do you mean?"

Helpdesk: "The download speed on your computer?"

User: "I don't own a computer, nor have I any interest in owning one. What's that got to do with my broadband?"

Helpdesk: "Broadband is high-speed internet. What did you think it was for?"

User: "I thought it improved the quality of voice calls... I did wonder why you'd sent me this black box and all these wires."

24. User: "Is there a spray I can get for my computer?"

Helpdesk: "Excuse me?"

User: "A spray? One I can squirt the inside of my computer with."

Helpdesk: "Do you mean compressed air?"

User: "Does that kill the viruses?"

Helpdesk: "... You mean like a disinfectant? For computer viruses?"

User: "Yes! That would do the trick."

Helpdesk: "I'm sorry, sir. There's nothing like that available. Viruses are just a name we give to malicious software. We use 'virus' because it explains how the software behaves."

User: "Oh... so no spray then?"

Helpdesk: "No."

25. User: "I password protected an important document and now I can't remember the password."

Helpdesk: "Okay. We have a program that can get passwords from Word documents. Can you email it to me?"

User: "No, it's very sensitive. That's why it was password protected. I don't even keep the file on the server. I keep it secure on a memory stick."

Helpdesk: "It would be safer if you kept it on the server. At least on the server it would be backed up each night."

User: "That's exactly what I don't want to happen. For legal reasons, I can't have any copies of this file. I need you to come down here and get the password for me."

Helpdesk: "I'm in a different office to you, so I'll have to send someone to help you out."

User: "Have them call ahead so I can notify security."

Helpdesk: "Security? That won't be necessary. We've all signed non-disclosure agreements."

User: "It will be necessary! This is a very sensitive document and I can't have anybody near it without security."

Helpdesk: "Okay. I'll make sure they call ahead and bring the software so they can retrieve the password you forgot."

User: "I didn't forget it!"

Helpdesk: "Sorry?"

User: "I'd no need to remember it."

Helpdesk: "What do you mean?"

User: "The password was written on a post-it note attached to the memory stick and must've fallen off. It's somewhere on my desk, but there's so many papers here I can't find it!"

26. Helpdesk: "Okay, you should now see a small dialog box on your desktop."

User: "I don't see any box on my desktop."

Helpdesk: "Are you sure? It'll be a small window with an 'OK' button in the middle."

User: "How can a window be in my desktop?"

Helpdesk: "Sorry... what are you looking at?"

User: "My desktop, like you said. There's no box on it, just the computer. I do have a small window at the top of my wall though, but I don't see anything that says 'OK'."

Ouch.

In our capacity as Linux Systems Management specialists, LinuxIT is always on hand to provide a solution to the most demanding of service requests from our customers. We build, migrate and maintain cost-effective and flexible systems, making us the leading specialists in Open Source IT solutions.

To find out more about the Open Source success story that is Linux, download From Classroom to Boardroom – the Linux journey.

From Classroom to Boardroom – the Linux Journey